If Tom and Jerry Could Talk
by Firestartarter
Summary: This is a story I told at lunch about what it would be like if Tom and Jerry could talk, which quickly spirals out of control.


Jerry comes into work and hangs his tiny coat and hat on a tiny coat rack and sees Tom, who he approaches with their usual banter. "Hey Tom I'm gonna kill your family today." He said jokingly as they thought it to be funny. "NOT IF I KILL YOURS FIRST!" Tom cried, clearly sleep deprived and jittery from all the coffee he's been drinking. "You do know I'm just kidding right? Just cuz we try to kill each other doesn't mean we have to... you know... kill each other."

"Ya, right... right... ha...haha... HAHAHAHAH!"

Tom then drove up to a family reunion Jerry's family was having later that day and shot up everyone, killing about 20 of his relatives. Jerry got a letter later that day notifying him of the killer and his relative's funerals. He also got one from the PD saying he was going into the witness protection program. He then fell into a downward spiral of depression and drug abuse. One day his friend Thomas (the little gray mouse) walked in to Jerry's home. "Hey Jerry I'm bac-" He was then interrupted by the sight of Jerry with a needle sticking out of his arm, drooling over his desk. "OH MY GOD NO! Jerry is that liquid cheese!? Quick take it out Jerry, oh god why!" He then pulled the needle from his arm and slapped him. "SNAP OUT OF IT DAMN IT!" He shouted and Jerry responded "I can quit whenever I want man, your not the boss of me man, this one time in college man. It helps me feel better man."

A week later after seeing a therapist and becoming clean relatively quickly Thomas took Jerry to the bar they usually went to too celebrate. "See Jerry? We're having fun without the crack and stuff. It's just like the good old days!" Thomas shouted happily over the bustling crowd. "Yeah... Yeah the good ol'days, listen I have to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back." After a few minutes of Jerry being gone Thomas went to check on him, seeing him trying to hang himself with his own tail. "OH GOD! OH GOD NO! SOMEONE HELP!"

Later that night Jerry was taken to the hospital where Thomas sat by his side. "I'm so glad you're okay Jerry, I don't know what I would do with out you. Anyways, I'll be right back I'm gonna get us some drinks." A nurse then entered the room and turned very slowly, a youthenization needle in her hand and she pulled down her mask, revealing it was Tom. Jerry began screaming, unable to run and hardly any sound coming out from him trying to attempt suicide. As Tom was about to kill him a flashbang rolled under Tom's feet. Going off, blinding both him and Jerry. Jerry, blinded and confused, his ears ringing watched as a swat team ran in and arrested Tom.

Commissioner Quack then walked in and looked at Jerry. "I'm sorry you became such a crucial piece in our little game of Cat and Mouse, but it was the only way to catch this crooked cat. It's okay now though, you're safe now." Jerry then shouted, in a fit of rage, "No, it's not ok!" Jerry cried. "There are still monsters like him out there! Doing the same things to others! And I won't rest until they're all behind bars!"

Jerry's voice was much raspier and deep since the attempted hanging and he took on the name MouseMan. A month later he was standing on a rooftop, dangling a cat over the edge. "WHERE IS SHE! WERE ARE THE BOMBS!? I SWEAR TO GOD ILL DROP YOU!"

"Dude, this is a countertop, it may be high for you, but for me it's like a two feet drop."

"IF YOU WON'T TELL ME THEN I'LL MAKE YOU!" MouseMan then picked up a some brass knuckles and began pounding away at the cat.

Later that evening the police found the body, he was beaten to an inch of his life, hung from the rafters by his tail, bloodied and bruised. "He may have been a monster, but he didn't deserve this. MouseMan is the real wolf among us sheep, no matter how many he saves he'll only create more predators." The Commissioner took a drag on his cigar and puffed out some smoke. "Get him outta my sight and to a doctor, he's making me sick. Jeez, this is the 5th time this week... what's your game MouseMan?"

Meanwhile, in the ghetto, MouseMan walked into a StripClub and approached a stripper. "You're friend told me everything, I know she's here. Now tell me were she is or the lives of millions will be on your head." The stripper chuckled and pushed him aside. "why don't you take a seat?"

"WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SEAT!" MouseMan cried, shoving the stripper into a seat. "Oh God, oh GOD NO!" She cried as MouseMan gave her a lap dance. "My feelings! I'm so confused! Fine I'll tell you just please make it stop!" MouseMan then entered a dark room, the shutters slightly open behind a large desk, the chair facing towards the windows, the back facing him. Cigarette smoke hung on the ceiling, clinging to it like the criminal filth that oozed from the shadows and fear of others. MouseMan's scold became colder. "It was all a matter of time I suppose." The woman in the chair replied, spitting out a puff of smoke. "It's all over! I've disarmed the bombs and now I'm taking you in!" The chair spun around, revealing the mechanical female mouse Tom made to once try to capture Jerry. "How're you going to make me hot stuff?" Jerry then jumped over the desk, talking the woman as they crashed through the window. They threw one punch after the other as they fought in mid air, seeing the ground quickly approaching MouseMan grabbed the fiend and shot his grappling hook at the building, suspending them in mid air. "You've had enough! I'm taking you in! It's over!"

"No, I'll never have enough, not until the MouseMan is dead!" The machine then let go as she fell to the floor, smashing into millions of pieces. "NOOOOOO!"

Meanwhile, at the Asylum Tom sat in the corner of his room, laughing as he continued to rock back in forth, huddled up in a ball. Scratch marks and the words "Hahaha" were all over his walls. "It's all a matter of time I suppose" he said. A hole then appeared from one of his walls from a nearby explosion, a yellow duck in a green tux and bowler hat, holding a cane stood in the light emanating from the hole "Happy Easter." He said as Tom began to laugh.

 **\- THE END -**


End file.
